Dealing with...ANXIETY

Hello everyone!
I was sitting down wondering what to post and at first I decided to talk about my natural curly hair routine however, I realised I washed my hair yesterday and I wanted to show you all a step by step of how I do my hair (don't worry this is definitely coming soon). After anticipating I decided to do this post on suffering with anxiety. **I just wanted to add that I am in no way doing this for pity but instead hoping the following helps you understand what anxiety is and how you can deal with it or help someone you know deal with it. This is a very hard subject for me to talk about so bare with me**

I suffer with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and panic attacks. I have had these for approximately...6 years now however it has gotten much worse within the last 7 months of my life.

What is General Anxiety Disorder?
GAD is a term given to an individual that constantly worries about certain things in life. These tend to be irrational thoughts such as worrying about the weather, worrying about the time etc. These are usually things that are out of our control however, it is likely to also have rational thoughts such as worrying about your career/job, worrying about your health etc. These are usually things that we can control.

How did I know I had it?
I knew I had anxiety issues during High school. I was always worried about getting good grades and would get disheartened when I didn't do so well especially in exams (I also have exam phobia but I'll get to that later). I noticed my peers didn't worry about the same sort of things as I did. At this stage of my life my anxiety wasn't bad until I became really anxious about passing my GCSEs.



What do I worry about?
I am a chronic worrier. I worry about things that are important to me and they mostly consist of 4 categories:
 - My relationship with my boyfriend - I have been cheated on by an ex boyfriend before and didn't know until a year later. Although I have gotten over my ex boyfriend and I am now in another relationship with my current boyfriend (who hasn't cheated on me) I realised that the fear of this happening has peered its massive head.
- My education/career - I have always loved school! Although I tend to worry so much about getting good grades. I tend to worry about whether I'm doing my assignment right, thinking I'm going to fail,  and thinking my family will be disappointment in me.
 - My friendships - I was bullied in primary school and I used to get teased constantly however, I had no problem talking to people and trying to make friends. Currently, I have 6 friends, all of whom I have met separately.
- My family - I have quite a big immediate family consisting of my 2 parents, 3 sisters, 1 brother, 2 nephews and a niece. Because I love them dearly and I care about what they think of me I find myself worrying about pleasing them and not pleasing them.

What happens during an anxiety attack?
When I'm worrying about something (usually this is linked to any of the above) it starts off as a thinking process of "What if?" e.g. "What if my boyfriend cheats on me?", "What if I don't graduate and get my degree?", "What if my friends start hating me and stop being my friends?" "What if I upset my family?"
These are some examples of what I actually worry about. After, I start branching off and visualise scenarios in my head e.g. I visualise my boyfriend cheating on me with another girl, how the conversation would go, things I would say, things he would say, me crying etc. Getting to this stage usually leads to symptoms of irritability, frustration and panic attacks.
When having a panic attack it can feel as though you cant breathe. You start to experience symptoms such as hyperventilation, sweating, trembling, increased heart rate, fear of losing control, bursts of anger, crying, fear of dying etc.
Perosnally, when I'm having a panic attack my heart beats a lot faster, I become really irritable (pacing, fiddling), I fear of losing control, become angry and I cry. Feelings like this for me, can last anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours.

What do I do to help my anxiety?
Now that you all have an idea of what I worry about I will be able to give you my top 10 tips that I have found useful. (In no particular order of most effective or least effective):

 - Making 'To Do' lists - This is something I do everyday. This is a good idea because it helps me keep track of my day. I recommend not going crazy like I did and jotting down 20 things to do in one day because that will probably lead you to worry more because you are less likely to get all of it done. Put down the essentials e.g. "Make dinner" or "Do laundry".

- Understanding to your emotions - When you are fighting yourself to stop worrying about something you are usually making the worry worse. You can't just stop yourself from worrying or feeling a certain way towards something e.g. being angry because you're not coping as well as you think you should be (this is definitely something I have a problem with). Try to accept that how you are feeling right now isn't wrong and it will pass. I know how hard it is to do this especially when you're a chronic worrier like me but I find that once accepting that it's ok to feel angry, it's ok to feel sad I start to calm down and feel a bit more in control.

- Breathing exercises - Try and take deep breaths for about 2-3 minutes. Focus on just your breathing, ignoring any background noises. This helps calm the body and the mind, putting yourself into a relaxed state by decreasing your heart rate.
 - Go for a walk - Walking is a big part of my life. If the weather is nice enough I will go for a walk alone, maybe with some music in and try to enjoy the freedom. This helps me look at things that I take for granted or things I'm missing out on.

 - Surround yourself with positivity - I have an app on my phone called 'Motivational quotes'. This is set to go off every 3 hours. Reading quotes helps me to be positive. Remember, quotes can be quite direct so try not to take them too personally. It is also a good idea to surround yourself with people who tend to think in an optimistic manner as they could help you see things the way they do. 

 - Distract yourself - Now this can be tricky and harmful if done wrong. I use to use anything as a distraction e.g. being with friends, watching a movie, reading a book (sometimes I still do). But if this is done properly and in moderation for instance, two things a day, it can really help you to appreciate other things and in turn not focus your mind on worrying so much.

- Create a worry period - This is something that I am still yet to do as I am very sceptical towards this but anyway it is about creating a time period to worry during the day. Whenever you feel worried about something it is said if you write it down and commit it to a period of worrying e,g, 10.00am-10.30am (should be the same time everyday) it can help with your anxiety as you're not worrying constantly all day. As they say "There's a time for everything".

- Don't try to have an answer for every problem - Not everything you worry about will be solvable. If they aren't e.g. "What if my boyfriend cheats on me?" you have to realise that this isn't something that is happening right now and cross that bridge when you come to it.

- Tell yourself that "YOU ARE ENOUGH" - You have to believe in yourself and love yourself! If you don't do something great the first time there is always an alternative, whether that is dusting yourself off and trying again (famous words of Aaliyah, R.I.P) or moving on and trying something new. Remind yourself that you are loved by others and don't get caught up thinking about rejection or beating yourself up. "When a door closes another one opens" it's just up to you to find it.

- Listen to mediation/positive music - This has really helped me fight my insomnia! I usually type this into Youtube and have found some great music by 'YellowBrickCinema' which consists of smooth, melodic music with natural sounds e.g. waves and 'The Brain Garage' which consists of a mixture of melodic music with some natural sounds as well as subliminal messages through talking. This has helped me calm down so much and although I am still waking up through the night I can still put on another song and drift off. (I only listen to 1hr of them, selecting 1hr towards the end if it's more than 1hr long)

- Smile! - Smiling is scientifically proven to lift your mood as it releases serotonin (happy hormone) into the bloodstream. You're not alone, many people suffer with anxiety everyday...Did you know it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? :D

As you know I've been suffering from anxiety for a long time and let me tell you it is one of the hardest things to deal with as you have to train your mind into thinking a different way. I am also seeing a counsellor at my university once a week. If she gives me any information or tips I will make sure to pass them on to you. Curing anxiety is definitely not a quick fix but we must all try to stay positive and believe it'll get better. If you have any questions or comments do not hesitate to ask me :) 
Love you all, stay strong! 

Mimi xx

Links that helped me:
Zoella's blog post on panic attacks
YellowBrickCinema music
The Brain Garage music
More about anxiety website
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